Monday 31 August 2009

Ooh, what does this button do?

"Staring blankly into my hangar, two great - if not shiney - behemoths sat floating there. A mixture of magnetic clamping and zero gravity keeping them in place.
What was I doing? For that matter what were the ship designers taking when they dreamt up these monstrosities?
First monstrousity is my Raven class Battleship '大鹏' I couldn't think of a name so I named it after and ancient myth my father recited to me of a giant fire-breathing bird. Visually - I have no idea... Was the port designed by a different designer to the starboard? Or was he hallucinating and thought it was symetrical? It perplexes me. A mystery maybe to be solved.
The second is a joke pod pilots may get if they remeber watching a certain holoscreen series, a Dominix class Battleship called 'Ms. Anderson'.
What? It looks like a giant mishaped breast to me.

I order the Raven to be made ready, I wanted to test its limits. I point my Neocomm to my new agent in Gicodel, a short order to clear several Serpentis locations in the nearby system of Korsiki.
The first two locations saved on my Neocomm journal went by in a flash. Combatting all these Serpentis Battleships would've taken forever and a day in my Drake class Battlecruiser with the added bonus of bigger explosions from the cruise missile batteries.
I still prefer torpedoes, theres something about the 10km shockwave that gets me all gooey inside my panties. Oh, did I just record that? Damn, umm. Yes.
How do you erase this? *A momentary pause...* Oh, Feth take it, I'll ne[bzzzt]t ou[bzzzt...]

---- Error code 4 ----
>Press [R]ecover personal log system.
>Fixing..............
>Error recovery complete.
>System shutting down......

>System start.
...

Okay... Umm, I think I broke it.
Oh there it is. Where was I? Umm, nevermind.
Crew's quarters, this is your captain speaking, please prepare my Manticore to leave, we're going to destroy this Gods forsaken outpost, nothing ever works here."

A Manticore class Stealth Bomber appears on system scan, call signature '永远龙' and a brief message on the system's local Neocomm channel "cleanup on aisle seven."
The vessel fires 3 volleys of torpedoes at a lone habitation module. A bright flash, a dusty yellow shockwave and a shudder as the hab explodes in a firey carona, the Manticore leaves visibility. A residual energy pattern left when she cloaked.
Inside the vessel the commander sighs and slumps in her command chair. "Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. Set destination to home, I think we've exhausted all possibilities here, and I want to see my partner. I'm sure you all do too."

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